Thank you all so, so, so much for your kind notes and words of encouragement lately. Each one has meant so much to me. :)
It has been hard for me to share everything here, and I don’t think it would have been appropriate at the time, but it’s been a very strange and difficult couple of months for me, filled with a lot of challenges coming from what felt like every which way. I thought I was managing it all okay, but the last couple weeks were when I hit my breaking point (Ha! breaking point!). I guess I didn’t really realize how buried I was getting until the holidays and my broken arm forced me to stop for a second and take an emotional inventory? Everyone goes through low points, and I think it’s healthy and important to be really open with loved ones about these things, which I totally failed at this year. I should have asked for help earlier, but it was like I was too busy to feel or something, so when I switched gears for even just a minute, it all came crashing down hard on me. I’m sure many of you have experienced similar emotions. It’s no fun.
Anyway, the good news is today I feel like the fog is beginning to lift. Things are looking up again. I’m feeling hopeful. I’ve decided I want to keep writing this blog and I’ve got some new plans that I’m truly so excited about. I keep having to remind myself that my arm (and my spirits) are still a bit fragile though, so I’m easing into it. :)
Today I was itching to do something creative (and simple enough to do with one good hand). I had been looking around online for a print with some reds in it to fill one of my gallery wall place-holder frames, and I kept coming back to images like this Rothko print. I almost just bought one, but lately I’ve been wanting an excuse to paint something for myself. I didn’t want to paint anything that required thinking or planning or really any technical skill. I just wanted to throw some colors on a piece of paper. (which is exactly what I did and is exactly the opposite of what Rothko did – just to be clear!)
I used cheap acrylic paint from Michaels (which wiped right off my counters when I was done) and white wrapping paper (!!!!) because it was easy to find in my disorganized construction zone of a house, and it was the perfect size already for my frame. I used a ton of paint on this thing and it took basically all day to dry, but I had a great time layering on different colors, and mixing and blending.
I can’t tell you how therapeutic it was to do this little art project today. It felt good to do a project for me, just because I felt like it. And it felt good to be happy enough with the results that I wanted to share the photos with you all.
Also, I know it’s lame to copy a famous artist, but I really love Mark Rothko’s color study paintings, so it feels like a little ode to him rather than a knock off since this is just for personal use. It will likely just be a place holder until I find something more permanent to put in the frame. In the meantime, I’m loving the jolt of energy these bright colors brought into our living room! And I think when I look at it over the coming weeks, I’ll be reminded of some of the hope and clarity I’m starting to feel today.
Thanks again, friends, for your patience and understanding. Big hugs to you all. xoxo